La Vita è Bella

         This is not a blog regarding Astro's or Felice's.  This is more on a personal note. However, it is a blog regarding Anthony, Ava, Liv and me.  It is easily known that the Stipanov's have identical twins, Ava and Liv.  I only knowing this because I can simply be walking the streets with Ava and Liv in East Hampton or Amagansett and get stopped by people who know my mother-in-law, Alda, who loves to bragging about her miracle twin granddaughters.  But the truth is, they really were miracles. Nothing pleases me more than talking about my daughters.  They truly are my pride and joy.  Yet again, most parents say that anyway, right? However, I mean it from my gut, my heart and soul. I've kept a lot of my personal thoughts and details of my hard pregnancy very private.  Anyone who knows me, knows I'm very open, blunt, outgoing and always willing to share a story.  My pregnancy is different, I remained calm, not open, not blunt and not willing to share my story nor my thoughts.          

        I never understood those mothers who stayed home to "raise their children", guess what? I'm one of those mother's now.  I had a career, which I had for ten plus years.  I was even granted a one year leave of absence.  Three months afer my daughters were born, I resigned.  Who does that in this economy? I did.  Life is precious and short.  Sometimes it's not until there is life growing inside of you that you truly understand motherhood, true love and what truly is most important.  My biggest lesson was to learn to never judge a mother again, you don't know her story or her hardships.   

        It was last week that "The March of Dimes" asked me to share my story.  Not only to share it, but in public.  I agreed to share it, in writing.  Not in public.  I don't fear public speaking, I feared my reaction.  Would I make light of my pregnancy due to the hardship of it or  burst into tears?  So I took the safe route.  So here is my story.  The story why I left my job to raise my daughters.  Why Ava and Liv are my life, why motherhood is now my life.  Sometimes when those lives can be taken from you, it can change you forever.

Here is my story that I wrote for "The March of Dimes":

          "My name is Sofia Marques-Stipanov and my husband is Anthony Stipanov. We have been blessed with two amazing identical twin daughters, Ava and Olivia (Liv).  The road that led to their birth was not easy; it was complicated and heartbreaking.  For 34 weeks I feared I would lose the lives my husband and I had created.  My first sonogram went very well, just the little shocker that we were expecting twins.  Our doctor told us to go Stony Brook University Hospital High Risk Unit just to be safe.  Being twenty-eight years old and healthy, I thought that my babies would also be healthy.  

           On our 18-week check-up, reality set in fast.  Ava (Baby A) was taking more fluid and food from her sister, Liv (Baby B). Liv was in danger and hearing the words coming out of the doctor's mouth still brings tears to my eyes:   

"There is a chance you could lose Baby B or both babies and that there could be a chance that they could have Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome."  

      The next day I called Stony Brook High Risk Unit and scheduled an appointment with the head of the department. I went with my mother-in-law, Alda, and my husband.  The doctor was kind and patient and answered all our questions and concerns.  However, after this sonogram he saw nothing wrong! He even canceled out Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome. I was confused, but beyond relieved. They scheduled me to go back the following week for another check-up to follow up with the babies’ progress.  

          Then, the following week, I went with my head held high only because I was almost positive nothing was wrong with my babies.  I was wrong. I was having slight contractions, starting to dilate and Ava (Baby A) was taking fluid and food from Liv (Baby B) again.  And Liv (Baby B) was having issues with her umbilical cord.  The sound waves were inconsistent.  At 25 weeks I was put on strict bed rest, and scheduled to go for check-ups twice a week.   The following week I was hesitated to go back to the doctor because I was scared of what else could possibly go wrong with my babies. Again, no improvement.  I was still having slight contractions, dilated, and Ava (Baby A) was once again taking fluid and food from Liv (Baby B).  Liv’s umbilical cord sound waves were still inconsistent. At this time they hospitalized me so they could monitor the babies better.  I was 26 weeks pregnant, and being told I could go into labor sounded like a horror story.  Hearing all the possibilities that could go wrong with my daughters, I mentally blocked out everything the NICU doctors were telling my husband and me.  I just remembered looking at my husband, who was pale, white and ready to burst into tears.  They gave me magnesium sulfate to stop the pre-term labor and a steroids shots for the babies’ lung development.  After eight days of observations, the contractions had stopped. Suddenly the fluid and food evened out and the umbilical cord sound waves started to sound better.   I was sent home!

          Each day was filled with fear. My body would turn cold of the thought of never meeting my little girls.  I was going to the doctor each twice week and everything was always somewhat "okay", never a "regular pregnancy."  Ava (Baby A) would take her turns taking more fluid and food from Liv (Baby B).  

          On December 2, 2010 I was 33. 5 weeks, and was due for another weekly check-up.  Again another problem was added to my already complicated pregnancy.  I was diagnosed with preeclampsia.  I had developed high blood pressure and protein in my urine.  Again I went to Stony Brook University Hospital.  Again with the magnesium sulfate to stop the pre-term labor and a steroids shots for the babies lung development.  Each day I was getting worse and worse.  I got to the point I couldn't even move.  I was now scared for my life and my daughters.  

          On December 5, 2010 my doctor came in, did a sonogram and announced that I would be having an emergency c-section that afternoon.  It was now all so real. I was going to meet my little girls. I still feared about their breathing and lung development. However, I was reassured that with all the steroids shots I was given, the babies would be okay.

          At 1:45 p.m. I was rolled into the operation room.  The room was freezing and filled with at least ten doctors, machines in every direction and two incubators. The moment finally came when the white sheet went up and my husband was right above my head holding my hand was all his might.  At 2:09 p.m. Baby A was born, Ava weighing 3 pounds and 10 ounces, seconds later at 2:09 p.m. Baby B was born, Olivia weighing 3 pounds and 1 ounce.  They both immediately became the loves of our lives. Most importantly, they were breathing on their own! Before we could get enough pictures they were scooped up and taken to NICU.

          I was taken to my room to rest.  This was the first time in 34 weeks that I could calmly breathe.  I was told my daughters were doing great.  They needed to learn to bottle-feed and to gain weight before going home. The nurses told me that they would be there for at least two to three weeks.  I remained in the hospital for eight days.  My blood pressure was still elevated but going down.  Eventually it went down and home I went.  It was a sad day leaving the hospital without Ava and Olivia.  I spent a lot of days crying because my girls weren't home yet, but I never missed a day going to visit them.  How could I miss a day of not seeing my little girls? They are part of me, they grew inside of me.  We survived all the complications that came our way.   My bond with Ava and Liv is indescribable.

          On December 27, 2010 Ava and Liv came home!  They were beautiful little girls and I was blessed to be able to hold them every second that I pleased.  They where were they belonged, home with mommy and daddy.  

          Now in 2013 Ava and Liv are 27 months old.  Looking so much alike, like identical twins do.  No one would ever be able to tell that they were a product of a such a complicated pregnancy.  We are also do grateful for all the nurses, doctors and March of Dimes at Stony Brook Hospital.  Grateful for their hard work, kindness, calm and reassuring words.  The are no words that can ever express our appreciation.  The nurses and The March of Dimes made it all possible.  They took care of my little girls for three weeks.  They feed them, changed them, kept them cozy and warm and cared for them.  For that alone I’m overly grateful.  Again, no words,  just love and overly thankful for their kindness.  That's why today my girls are healthy with Ava weighing 27 pounds and Liv weighing 26 pounds.  My girls are best friends, sisters and playmates.  They laugh and fight together.  Not one day goes by that I don't hold them individually, kiss their perfect little cheeks and say, "You will never again be this little again, mommy has to take full advantage of this now!"  They are my troopers, my miracles and our blessings.  We survived a long 34 weeks together. So this year all four Stipanovs will walk for The March of Dimes. We aren't just walking for premature babies.  We are walking for all babies.  All babies deserve the best future and care. Our team name is "La Vita è Bella." 

La Vita è Bella,

Sofia Marques-Stipanov"

That's my story, I'm finally able to share it, talk about it and most importantly treasure your children, they are your greatest blessing.