Combatting Cyberbullying in East Hampton Schools

"Cyberbullying is the most prevalent issue in schools today," said Principal Adam Fine said last week. "It's rare to hear incidences of bullying in the halls—it's taking place online. Bullying through texting and social media is such a huge issue."

Fine had asked for help from parents on this new school issue. Lynden Restrepo, a parent and Montauk business owner, responded by reaching out to Sal Lifrieri, the CEO and president of Protective Countermeasures & Consulting, a company that provides vulnerability and threat services. 

Mr. Lifrieri, who was the Director of Security and Intelligence Operations for New York City's office of Emergency Management during the Giuliani administration,  said kids are cyberbullying through texting, instant messaging, online games, website posting, Facebook updates and messaging.

At an informational meeting on Wednesday at the high school for parents throughout the South Fork, he said, bullying can include death threats, false rumors, rude messages, cruel games and tricking confidences to spread across school. Photos can be manipulated to appear compromising and sent to hundreds with a quick click on a keyboard.

"Posting is not private," Mr. Lifrieri told the audience. "Cyberbullying by Proxy is the worst thing that can happen to you. Your online identity gets stolen and they create an ID of 'you' online. They can use your identity as an advertisement for sex; portray you as a racist, visit pedophile sites or websites that hate groups frequent. This puts you in harm's way." All types of cyberbullying can cause harm and serious repercussions.

Maria Mondini, an assistant principal at the high school, said in a recent interview with Patch, "We've had a couple of incidents that could have become bigger." She said, "We see horrible texts going back and forth between our loveliest kids. We've had two fights this year. Basically, what's happening is what would be an argument between two kids often turns into something much bigger on Facebook at night." 

Combating bullying and online dangers, such as those on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, dating sites and chat rooms, begins with awareness, Mr. Lifrieri said. "Be smart about what you are doing," he cautioned. "There are people looking to do bad things."

Students should think before they post and not send virtual messages while angry (wait 24 hours, he advised). Students should refuse to forward vicious messages, compromising videos and nude photos, if received. It's not just a good idea—passing these along is against the law, he added.

He cautioned against responding directly to bullying messages. Harassment should be reported to website owners. Onsite block functions can be used. If bullying is occurring, document the abuse and begin to build a case to present to police. Information can be found at  www.stopcyberbullying.org  or www.protectivecountermeasures.com.

If a parent discovers their child is being bullied, Mr. Lifrieri warned against believing the experience will toughen the child up. "Bullying does not toughen him or her up," he said. "Your child is in trouble. Listen to them and respond."

Realizing that what goes online, stays online is important, he said. Colleges and employers search the web to match applications with the life and character revealed online.

Supplemented with projected information, Mr. Lifrieri described where danger could lurk for kids and adults. Such as digital pictures which can lead to the person's address. Twittering daily activities can reveal behavioral patterns that may enable stalking.

Announcing trips and vacation whereabouts can tip thieves to empty houses. Personal information on Facebook coupled with family link may lead to identity theft. Stealing financial information and passwords may not be the worst—online impersonation can cause sharper pain.

The former New York City detective said that unlike real-time crimes, online dangers takes place over the long term and predators have patience, Mr. Lifrieri said. They are willing to wait until behavioral patterns emerge and confidences are gained.

Fine said that the school will continue to look into way to battle cyberbullying and prevent it. "We will do everything we can but we need the parents help too," he said.