Probably the most important thing I try to impress on my clients is that they are not so much in a “karmic loop” but rather caught in their own kama – desire. Think Kama Sutras. That kama – or sexual desire is the underlying energy that is responsible for the continuation of this creation, or really I should say, illusion. Known in the Vedas as Maya, the illusion created by the Divine Mother.
It is only the kama desire that is strong enough to make a smart woman do stupid things. Or a smart man. It is kama – even if unfulfilled or unrealized – that has this seeming unseen power to hold people in “bad” relationships. It is only after someone understands the nature of kama – that it is equally creative and destructive – that they are able to escape the influence of kama to some extent. Kama – sexual desire – is not something to be toyed with or trivialized – it is more powerful than our own ego. While we may believe we have it under control – kama is more powerful and will always control us. It is important to let go of the illusion of control that sex gives us at certain points in our life. Because it is always the other way around. Many relationships that are ruled by kama are karmic in nature. It is likely an unfulfilled desire from a past life – this is especially true whenever we feel a strong connection. Just because you feel that strong attachment, does not mean it is a good idea to have sex with that person. That is how the kama binds us more strongly against all reason and against our own stated moral ideals. Women are more likely than men to seek help or understanding from healers, psychics and friends for relationship issues. Men though have just as many or more messed up problems with the girls they desire, lust after and bed. Often a guy has a clear idea that his girlfriend or wife is cheating on him, but because of all his own kama and pain, he chooses to look away from what is right there. To be a “man” and deal with it. Men imagine that if they change something, she will be faithful, that if they improve their sex (kama) lives with that partner, the problem will resolve. Of course that never happens, as the problem – the sex – kama – addiction is too strong for both partners. The female who wants it over and over again from another and the male who “loves” her – but it is only kama playing on both of them. But it is women who suffer more acutely because of this. Heartbreak is far more devastating to women than to men. I see so many broken hearted women who once had everything with a guy and when it went away they can’t de-attach, and they cling to that guy or an even worst version to try to get back to the happiness they may never know again. By breaking the illusion of kama people can break out of the endless cycle of karma that causes pain over and over in this life and future lives. By breaking the illusion of kama I do not mean to imply that sex is bad or should be avoided at all. But rather understand what is really happening in your life. That that “soul mate” you “love” so much, is really just a kama addiction from a past life. My free advice: First move away from the relationship that is causing pain – confusion etc… and then try to understand how kama drives us to make the same mistakes over and over again. Be brutally honest with yourself and your friends about your secrets, your kama and then maybe it is possible to be freed from a continued cycle of pain, or causing other people pain.