Engagements Celebrated at Live Out Loud Fundraiser

The day after the New York Senate voted in favor of same-sex marriage, supporters of the Live Out Loud organization gathered at a fundraiser in East Hampton to celebrate the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, the vote, and a few new engagements.

One couple, Matt Sullivan and Ken Cro-Ken of New York City, decided on Saturday to tie the knot after 13 years together.

"I'm thrilled it happened this weekend because we are all together," said Sullivan of the gay pride weekend that ended with the Gay Pride parade in New York City. The third annual Live Out Loud Hamptons fundraiser was held at the waterfront home of board member Bruce Sloane.

"It still hasn't sunk in that this right has been given," said Cro-Ken. "On one hand … it took so long, but on another hand I thought it would be another 10 years. The day that it doesn't need to be mentioned is the day [tolerance] finally comes."

While the couple hadn't yet set a date, Sullivan spoke about the legislation. "This means marriage and love is being affirmed," he said.

Live Out Loud was founded by Leo Preziosi in 2000 to bring empowerment and support to youths in the LGBT community. The group sponsors speakers and panelists in the tri-state area and offers educational scholarships, among other activities, so the fundraiser attracted supporters from across the state.

"I'm not a very emotional person, but I was actually teared up by it," said James Muller, a teacher from Syosset, said of the Senate's vote. He said the whole process had been overwhelming, "But I feel like in New York it's about time. It's long overdue."

To some, the thought of same-sex marriages in New York state has always been a dream.

"When I was a child I never thought I'd have the opportunity to get married," said James Hunt, a credit specialist who works in Farmingdale. "I think that's what everybody wanted, to at least have the opportunity to say, maybe."

Still, several shared the opinion that marriage is about love and commitment, something that doesn't require a piece of paper to legitimize.

"I've been with my partner for 20 years, so it's like we're already married," said Glenn Tunstull fom Claverack, N.Y., an artist who sold a piece at the party's silent auction. "For most of us it's not going to change [how we] feel about one another. But it gives young people the opportunity…they never thought to be a possibility."

Seth Howe, an architect who lives on the South Fork, said, "It really hit me -- I decided I wanted to get married."

One partygoer, however, believed the same-sex marriage bill did not go far enough in fostering acceptance and equality for all citizens.

"I am the cynic, my partner is the romantic. We need to focus on gender equality laws and not only marriage laws," said David Phelps. "They need to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act and can't argue family values will be ruined because to be honest we've left family values at the curb already." 

Phelps referred to the statistic that almost half of all straight marriages end in divorce.

Many at the party expressed a tolerance of those that do not agree with their fight. Activists were unhappy with lawmakers like Senator Kenneth Lavalle, R-Port Jefferson, who did not support the bill, yet they agreed to respect differing opinions.

"They have a right to their point of view as I have a right to mine," said Brooke McMullen, a special education teacher on Long Island. "But I would like them to think that if they were in our position they wouldn't want to be treated that way. You learn that when you're in the sandbox as a kid."